Why 345 Lbs. Is A Closed Chapter

I never want to go back to 345 pounds. And I don’t want that construed as an anti-fat sentiment. I’ll always be a Big Girl in my Heart, and will always have an unending supply of empathy and knowing towards anyone struggling with weight issues, or the general malaise of not feeling good enough.

I don’t want to go back to the 300′s again because it was a physical burden. Which was the direct result of an emotional burden. Which I attempted to remedy by soothing myself with food. So there I was for the majority of my life: trapped in a cycle, searching for wholeness and resolution that was never to be found…at least not in a bag of cheeseburgers and fries, eaten alone in my car in a remote corner of a parking lot.

Tired of trying to force myself to not overeat, and worn-out from society’s labels and blaming myself, and battered from my own harsh way of speaking to myself, I decided to take myself out of the game. And play a new one, called “Loving Myself No Matter What.”

2008 - and feeling great. The physical healing would soon follow...

2008 – and feeling great. The physical healing would soon follow…

Man, I was rusty at first. You know that inborn Joy every baby comes in with? It was drained from my body and energy field, little by little over the decades. On the surface it seemed I just didn’t have the capacity for self-esteem. But somewhere at the core I knew that wasn’t true. So I got to work, acting as if. Yes, Truth-Seekers, I faked it till I made it. I consider nailing self-esteem at 300 pounds a far greater accolade than dropping 185. The former is not only more meaningful, it took more courage and tenacity.

Glowing after a DDPYOGA Workout

So when I say I have no hope or desire to return to three bills, it’s simply because I enjoy my physical (and emotional) freedom far too much to give them up or relinquish them to the false notion that I’ve arrived at the finish line. There are still uncomfortable feelings to wade through, trying days to master without running to a drive-thru, and disappointments of every stripe.

The trials come, and they go. It’s part of life and being at a lower weight is no magic garlic necklace that keeps the vampires away. But clearing away the physical and emotional burdens now allow me, my mind, and my digestive track to be at Peace. Regular, everyday Peace. Now that’s priceless.

Where are you on your journey? It all starts within. Lasting change can’t come any other way. I can’t tell you where or how to begin, but to expedite things, it’s a big help to take blame right out of the equation. It’s such an energy drain anyway. Channel it into something more fun…You deserve it.

Nutritionist Nancy Guberti is the guest on DDP Radio April 2


9 P.M. Wednesday, April 2
(347) 994-1216

Nutritionist Nancy Guberti

Nutritionist Nancy Guberti

Nancy Guberti, M.S., C.N., is the special guest on DDP Radio this week. Guberti is a metabolic and functional medicine specialist, certified nutritionist, Defeat Autism Now Practitioner, Gluten-Free Casein-Free (GFCF) diet counselor and healthy lifestyle coach. Wednesday’s show is a great opportunity to get some top-notch nutritional advice as well as call in with questions on gluten-sensitivity, the unhealthy aspects of cheese and casein, and why sugar is a highly addictive substance.

Because the seasonal change of longer days and warmer weather signals changes in our bodies, Guberti says now is the perfect time to undergo a detoxifying cleanse, and that there are many ways to go about it. On Wednesday, she’ll be discussing techniques ranging from juicing and cleaner food choices to beverages and supplements which have a detoxifying effect on the body. Since many of the Team DDPYOGA members are gluten and cow-dairy-free, Guberti will be addressing topics such as which gluten and dairy-free products on the market she uses and recommends to clients, and what her new favorite plant-based milk is.

Also on Wednesday’s show, Guberti will talk strategy regarding mindful eating, a healthy approach to clean eating, reading labels, and overall food-awareness: all necessary tools for navigating the chemically laden jungle that is most modern supermarkets.

Guberti operates a practice in Connecticut but counsels clients long-distance across the country and as far away as Japan. A mother of two teenaged sons with food allergies, Guberti has been eating gluten, casein, soy, and corn-free for 15 years and knows first-hand how clean eating can change your body and life for the better. “I’ll be discussing the science behind a gluten- and cassein-free diet,” said Guberti. “There are so many people out there who live with intolerances to these two substances but are unaware of it. Symptoms can include bloating, fatigue, mental fogginess, skin rashes, and joint inflammation.” she said. “If your body is being taxed by these conditions you can’t live an optimal life…and the symptoms will worsen over time. The Wall Street Journal had a recent article that said virtually everyone will develop a gluten intolerance in their lifetime, so what better time than right now to form the habit of eating clean?”

This is your chance to ask a question of one of the top nutritionists in the country! You can even post questions in advance of the show on the blog section at Team DDP Yoga (if you’re already a member), by e-mailing Stacey at StaceyMorris345@yahoo.com , or during the show in the chat room at DDP Radio. Time doesn’t always allow for all questions to be answered, but we do our best.

For more fantastically useful information on and from Nancy, check out out her website at NancyGuberti.com or through all of your favorite social media sites.

Twitter: http://twitter.com/nancyguberti
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/nancyguberti

For more information on DDP Yoga, visit www.ddpyoga.com. To listen to past shows, check out the archive at DDP Radio. To listen to the show, visit DDP Radio or call (347) 994-1216

Hemp Porridge – Now THAT’S Hot!

...the ugly duckling of cereals...Remember, it's what's inside that counts

…the ugly duckling of cereals…Remember, it’s what’s inside that counts

Hold it, I know what you’re thinking…but don’t click to another page so fast. I realize it must not look like the most appetizing sight, especially in the morning, but once you get past this cereal’s muddy color (courtesy of hemp protein powder), you’ll be fine. As per all my hot cereal recipes, it’s got superfoods included and packs a punch that’ll keep hunger away for hours. Try getting that from a bowl of the cold, soggy stuff. This frigid and prolonged winter is the best reason I can think of to give it a try. Here’s to a fortified day!

Hemp Porridge
This can be divided into two smaller servings, but I eat the whole thing when I’m having a late breakfast

1/3 cup steel cut oats
2 Tbs. ground flax
2 Tbs. ground unsweetened coconut
1/4 cup dried mulberries
1 scoop hemp protein powder
1 cup unsweetened almond milk
1/2 cup water
1 Tbs. vanilla (to cut hemp’s bitterness)
8 drops Stevia or 1 Tbs. Agave or coconut palm nectar

Place all ingredients in a small saucepan except for the sweetener and let stand covered on the stove overnight. The next morning, heat on medium low heat for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally so it doesn’t stick to the pot’s bottom. When cereal is thickened, but not to the point of stiffness, turn heat off and let sit covered another five minutes. Stir in sweetener and serve.

This will satisfy you to the core...promise

This will satisfy you to the core…promise

DDP: Some Guru’s Are The Real Deal

Oh the straws I’ve desperately clutched at over the years in an effort to transform from fat to thin: liquid fasts, prepackaged food, the unwavering elimination of villainous carbohydrates, writing my meals out a day in advance and reciting the list to my Overeaters Anonymous sponsor. Anything imaginative, humiliating, cunning, and illogical – I’ve done it.

And then there was the celebrity advice I sought and paid for in the form of workout videos or the “How to Be As Fabulous as I Am” advice-laden memoir. Here’s a short list of celebrities whose svelteness and (seemingly) flawless lives I sought to emulate: Brooke Shields, Cindy Crawford, Cher, Linda Evans, Joan Collins, Suzanne Somers, Raquel Welch, and Victoria Principle.

We all know how crystal-clear the accuracy of hindsight is, so I have no problem admitting that the infinity wheel of obsessive searching was really in the name of avoidance. What better way to sidestep my own life and the pain that drove me to destruction than to shut my eyes, click my heels three times and pray that a magic wand would rearrange the details of my life to resemble Cher’s? Memorizing the skincare regimine and eating habits of a movie star did little to heal the throbbing core that I kept protected with trance-eating and the ensuing wall of fat.

Summer of 1999

Summer of 1999

Notice all the stars I mentioned above did their advice-peddling in the 80′s and 90′s? You might have guessed already, but I eventually stopped looking to an outside authority for help and realized I had to rescue myself. No one else was going to do it. So you could call the 20 years I spent at 300 lbs. + a vision quest of sorts. Burnt out by dieting and unable to do it even casually, I abandoned restriction in favor of unmitigated indulgence. But I needed to…for a variety of reasons. For the fat kid who was shamed by her mother for wanting more than the tiny portions she doled out at dinner. For the awkward, heavyset teenaged girl who grew up hearing women refer to themselves as ‘disgusting’ or ‘pigs’ just because they had eaten something they enjoyed. And for the outraged woman of size who couldn’t for the life of her reconcile the vitriol aimed in her direction simply because of her dress size. Let’s see…had I stolen anyone’s money…molested anyone’s children…murdered anyone in cold blood? Nope. Therefore, after finally taking a step back from the ridiculousness, I found the answer to freeing myself of the labels. Oh, the masses still had their opinions of me…it’s just that I no longer agreed with them. And that is where and when the true healing began.

The story very could have ended there: the cowering fat girl sheds her shame and learns to be proud of who she is. That’s where I thought the theme of my life would conclude. It was a pretty good ending as far as I was concerned.

But Life had other ideas. Probably because its infinite wisdom knew all along I wasn’t really happy (from a physical perspective) weighing 345 lbs. Getting winded walking half the length of my neighborhood mall, not fitting into airplane seats, and wearing black every single day of the year didn’t make me a bad person, but they’re undeniable joy-killers.

And just like the spiritual adept who, after years of steady practice, is ready for the next level of enlightenment and suddenly finds the perfect guru in her path to take her there, I was given a guru. And what a doozy it was!

Could there be a more whimsically odd pairing than a writer and a wrestler? Diamond Dallas Page turned out to the be the polaric opposite of me in every way…and that was a very good thing. With him, there was no bargaining. If I wanted his mentorship, the price of admission was to do his DDPYOGA workouts regularly and eat sensibly. He gave me a few do’s and don’t’s, but DDP was wise enough to understand the necessity of eating plans being as individual as the fingerprint.

DDP and my other fantastic mentor, Terri Lange, were there for me…but only if I was there for me. And I was…ready to undertake the final leg of my healing – the physical part. Long ago I realized it was a mistake to try and get my weight in order and THEN work on my core problems. It just doesn’t work that way. And that’s a tough pill to swallow in this fat-phobic society.

This approach is the only thing that has worked for me long-term. I’m a veteran of lots of ‘little’ dieting attempts, plus two devastating 100-lb. regains. As hokey as this may sound, there is something both magical and solidly real about DDPYOGA. It changes one from the inside out. It simply is not an ordinary workout. And it comes with an infallible community of support via fellow members. I’ve made and continue to make wonderful, heart-expanding friendships and connections because of it. But best of all, my story is becoming more and more typical. DDP’s the first to cringe at the suggestion that he has a magic answer. That’s only half true. If you’re ready to meet yourself halfway, and keep trying even when fall down, you’ve got a legitimate shot at a transformed body, mind, and life.

DDP, Me, Terri Lange...couldn't have done it without them!

DDP, Me, Terri Lange…couldn’t have done it without them!

The video below, made by the uber-talented Steve Yu, is no infomercial for DDPYOGA (though there is one on the market now). This is just a collection of before and after photos from ordinary Americans like me, who have realized there’s so much more to life than a bag of potato chips, remote control, and a couch.

The Journey of 1000 Miles… Begins With a Single Step from Dallas Page on Vimeo.

Doing The Work (In The Proper Order)

I didn’t create the rules…just learned to play by them after years and years of trying to do it the diet industry’s way.

One day I realized…If I’m eating to dull the pain, distract myself from unhappy details of my life, to swath myself in a sheet of fat so I can generally hide from life and all its adventures and complexities…does it make any sense that counting calories and manipulating food groups will solve what ails me?

It was much deeper than calorie-counting and cutting back on carbs, and I knew it.

So I took an entirely different approach: work on the wounds themselves and not their symptoms. And I started the process many years ago…when I looked like this:

Summer of 1999

Summer of 1999

When I looked like this, is when my healing began.

When I looked like this, is when I began the deluge of positive thoughts and kind messages.

When I looked like this, is when I began to love myself and my body unconditionally.

If I hadn’t done the work when I looked like this, I never would have been ready to embrace a sound formula for fitness and healthy eating when it finally came along…at just the right time, of course.

Message of the Day: Do the work and Life will more than meet you half way.

Glowing after a DDPYOGA Workout