When I left binge-eating and the 345 pounds that went with it behind, so many people in my life were happy for me. Some were elated. Like me, they never thought they’d see the day that I was able to divest myself of the albatross of addiction, excess weight, and all that goes with it, including low self-esteem. While it’s a normal reaction for those close to me to be thrilled for my new life, I sensed unease in others.
Sad but true, some close friends and a few sundry acquaintances weren’t as over the moon as I about my new look and new life. It became a comfortable role for some, the ‘fat best friend’ with no romantic life to speak of…who’d go along for the ride and listen to all the scintillating details of her friends’ romantic adventures. So when the tables turned, guess what? So did heads…towards me. I went from being invisible to being noticed, in a way I never had before. It was a strange feeling to me…and apparently to others.
This is the paradox of transformation. Even when it’s for the better, it is unsettling. For all parties. It’s a change. In my case, the change was tantamount to a death. The person I was in 2009 and prior no longer exists. She’s gone. And there’s consequence to that. Those that miss her have distanced themselves from the modern version of me. I can’t say this didn’t leave me smarting and confused. But I was clear on one thing. No one, through manipulation, withdrawing their love, or via veiled digs will ever EVER budge me from where I am now: A Woman who is fully OK with her strengths, gifts, and beauty and am grateful to let them shine.
Who remembers the iconic scene in “The Sound of Music” when the wily baroness deftly slips Maria a crippling Mickey in the form of shaming her for catching Captain Von Trapp’s eye? Both actresses are outstanding and play out the psychological dynamics of their characters flawlessly. If there’s a baroness in your life…have a chat with her, or fire her as a friend. Go ahead, you’ll be fine. Just don’t let her or anyone put you in a corner. It’s about shining brightly, my friends.
Pssst…it’s what we’re here for! Pass it on….