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At Peace With Being 50 Lbs. Heavier Than A Vogue Model

Clothing-As-Barometer IN, Weekly Visits to the Scale OUT

Clothing-As-Barometer IN, Weekly Visits to the Scale OUT

 

Oh yoo-hoo…Diet Industry, Beauty Magazines, Madison Avenue…I’ve got something to SAY to you:

 

I weigh 165 pounds.

That’s it.  No remorse or explanation. I’m not ashamed, perturbed, or disturbed in any way.  Which is really good news for me, but not so great news for you.  Oh stop sniveling. Yeah, I know, you can’t manipulate me anymore.  But here’s an idea: maybe you could try and find a more honorable way of making a living.

Not only am I OK with my weight of, I’ll say it again: 165 pounds, I’m ECSTATIC over it. I once weighed 345 pounds.  Do you know how this must feel?  Of COURSE you don’t.  If you ever suffered the humiliation of being large in a fat-phobic society, or have known the abject frustration of failing at the maniacally devised human mouse traps and self-esteem-crushers known as diets, you would be unable, in good conscience, to continue preying on the misery of others.

It may interest you to know I hoisted the 180-pound monkey off my back through clean eating, listening to my body’s hunger cues, exercising regularly, and deciding to go head-to-head with the demons that drove me to binge-eat.

Now that I’m free, I know that health and balance is a total mosaic. The number on the scale for me is no longer the ultimate indicator of this. I weigh above what many women, and certainly the modeling and entertainment industry deem acceptable. But I don’t care anymore. I could choose to spend considerable energy on getting that number down another 20 or 30 pounds, but it seems I’ve reached a comfortable place and my body is happy. I workout moderately, eat clean, and quite frankly, I’m not interested in being any more rigorous than I am. That’s not to say I’ll stop accepting challenges, but enough’s enough. It’s OK to be happy with myself, even if it in no way matches the media images we’re all fed ad infinitum.

OK Truth-Seekers..I want to hear from you.  Many of you have found Peace, Love, and Fitness through a way of living that does not include gimmicks and legalized torture.  Are you happy with yourself, or constantly wringing your hands because you don’t think you look good enough or weigh what you ‘should’ weigh?

My story does not have a Sports Illustrated ending to it…so what? Just because I’ll never be whisked away to Bora Bora for a Kleenex-with-straps couture photo shoot doesn’t mean my life is bereft of happiness or meaning. My thighs are not smooth as ceramic. The stretch marks were embedded at age 11, the bikini ship has sailed and I know it.  And somehow, I’m still walking upright, happier than I’ve ever been and grateful beyond measure for my freedom.

Who’s with me in the Victory Charge?  If enough of us rally, the ad and diet industry will one day be FORCED to find a more honorable way of making a living.

 

 

 

 

The Art of Keeping The Faith

Sometimes it’s as simple as saying NO to the negative.

To the self-doubt, to the old demons that haven’t gotten the message that you’re not interested and come calling every now and then, and a definite ‘no’ to the siren calls of drowning it all out with food.

Keep The Faith.  Stay The Course.

Go do something kind for yourself or someone else, even if it’s just a smile in the mirror or a 30-second self-hug.  You’ll be glad you did.

Descent into the abyss of destructive actions is an optional ride.

 No one takes me there but me.

 

NeverGiveUp

 

Garbanzo Bean Soup

…Or as I’ve named it this evening, Dinner on Deadline.  I’m behind the 8-ball, lots to do, but I squeezed in a workout, which made my stomach rumble even more!  I will not, however, succumb to unhealthy quick fixes like fast food, frozen dinners, or canned meals as I did in days of yore.  Well, OK, to be perfectly honest, I did use a can for this recipe, but it involved garbanzo beans…one of nature’s most perfect and useful foods because they’re low in fat and high in fiber and nutrients.

I use garbanzos in everything from hummus to baking bean-based chocolate cakes to thick, hearty soups like this one.  Super easy. All you need is a few augmentations and a food processor.  Viola – a healthy meal in 30 minutes!

 

Dinner on Deadline Winter Soup

1 can drained garbanzo beans

1 large clove garlic

3 Tbs. tomato paste

1 cup beef or vegetable stock

1 Tbs. dried thyme

Salt to taste

Place all ingredients in a food processor and blend until smooth. Bake on a covered crock at 300 for 30 minutes and serve. So easy, so HEALTHY! Finish with a drizzle of extra virgin olive oil. If you’re feeling it, add some cooked brown rice, quinoa, or gluten-free pasta. Bon Appetit!

 

The tomato paste and fresh garlic give the garbanzos a perfect tang

The tomato paste and fresh garlic give the garbanzos a perfect tang

 

 

Making Peace Through and With Chocolate

Not all chocolate is the same. Your body knows the difference between a drink made with raw cacao powder and an amalgamation of cocoa butter and refined sugar.I’m maintaining a 180-lb. weight loss. To do this I have had to both make peace with food and give the pink slip to those which were not doing my body, mind, or spirit any favors.

I’m a firm believer in when you really want a piece of chocolate cake, there’s simply no substitute. But let’s get real, I can’t be doing chocolate cake everyday, and it’s not exactly nutritional anyway. But I do want the taste of chocolate in some capacity on a daily basis, and I want good nutrition, plus the privilege of remaining comfortably in my size 8 jeans. Remember (if you’re old enough) when size 8 was THE standard? Now it’s practically considered a plus size but lemme tell you, and no pun intended, I put no weight into that insane kind of thinking. I look good with my clothing on, I’m no longer a size 28/30, and the list of physical freedoms once denied me by 180 extra and very burdonsome pounds is endless.

Therefore, I’ll pass on regular rounds of cookies, candy bars, cupcakes and other nutritional vagaries. No…drinking a chocolate protein shake is by no means the same experience as a mountainous slice of double-layer cake, but it does the job. And by that I mean it satisfies physical hunger in a big way, delights my chocolate-craving taste buds, and keeps my progress intact.

Disappointingly, bottled protein drinks are the latest thing to be appropriated by the big food companies. You can find them everywhere now, from supermarkets to convenience stores. Their mass-production and ubiquitousness are a red flag – only take the bottled option if you’re in dire need. A far better choice is to concoct your own at home. For so many reasons: cost effectiveness and quality control among the top benefits.

Becoming a regular with protein drinks is a process. It may not be love at first gulp, but when you consider the benefits (and when you feel the supreme satisfaction of actually being nourished by something sweet and delicious, you just may end up like me and so many others, giving the prepackaged goodies a rest.

 

Stacey’s Liquid Chocolate Satisfaction

8 oz. unsweetened vanilla almond milk

1 scoop protein powder (I like Jay Robb’s Egg White and Plant Fusion, both in vanilla)

1 Tbs. raw cacao powder

1 tsp. maca (a favorite superfood)

And if I’m feeling really racy, 1 Tbs. coconut oil (optional)

 

Place all ingredients in a blender and blend for about 20 seconds or until smooth. Serve and feel nourished.

 

Liquid Chocolate - One of My Constant Companions!

Liquid Chocolate – One of My Constant Companions!

 

Happy and Healthy

Happy and Healthy

 

The Reformed Elvis

I can’t say I was ever a fan of Elvis Presley’s music, but the man himself was undeniably intriguing.  How could he not be with the velvety voice, uber-charisma, and white-hot fascination of his fans which only seems to have grown stronger with each decade following his 1977 passing.

And then there was The King’s attraction to food.  His alleged comfort food binges even seemed to rival mine in ferocity and scope.  For that, he has earned my eternal astonishment, because not many of my eating buddies could keep up with me. I tended to outperform them all.

I feel a twinge of sadness anytime I hear of a binge-eater (famous or not) who never escaped the cycle that goes something like this: gluttony, self-loathing, severe dieting…repeat. It’s really quite awful. I was stuck in it for decades.  But I was luckier than Elvis and his generation.  I was bolstered by phenomenons such as the Self Help movement, New Age Spirituality, The Oprah Winfrey Show, Pop Psychology, and various factions of the Fat Acceptance army who, little by little, illumined to me the Truth that I wasn’t a horrible piece of crap afterall…just a wounded one, who needed Love and Acceptance much more than she needed a diet or gym membership.

Please refer to blog posts under the ‘Heart’ category to read in more detail how I made peace with myself, which included embracing my weight as well as my wounds, and standing vociferously up to the size bigots, until they eventually faded from my life. It’s shocking, I know…but bully’s detest confrontation.

And as for how I made peace with food, check out the Head and Hips categories for specifics on how I deal with cravings, remake former binge and comfort foods, and how I do it all while (most of the time…I’m no robotic saint) incorporating whole, health(ier) ingredients.  Like these banana ‘bread’ muffins for instance!

The word ‘bread’ is qualified because there’s no flour involved. They get their heft from Garbanzo beans and sweetness from bananas, but they taste and feel enough like banana bread to disseminate the recipe and let you be the judge. The Elvis part came after wondering aloud if this might possibly work as a clean version of  one of the King’s favorite snacks:  The Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwich, which he preferred pan-fried if legends are correct.

In my own adventures with reformed eating, I’ve come to learn that it’s enough to approximate flavors and textures of decadent concoctions such as the above sandwich. Or chocolate cake, or full-fat gelato. In other words, as long as I’m getting the genuine flavor and texture of bananas, bread, and peanut butter, I’m good. It doesn’t have to be jammed between two slices of butter-smeared, squishy white bread and fried to a greasy crisp.

So here it is, my version of something Elvis is said to have loved.  And considering the brilliance of the pairing of peanut butter and banana, I have to say I agree with the King on this one. It’s an irresistible combination.  And would like to think that if Mr. Elvis Aaron Presley had access to all the help I did to get me where I am today, he just might try, if he were here today, one or two of these sweet and sticky little gems…and probably like them.  Here’s to ‘ya, King!

 

 

The Reformed Elvis  or:  Stacey’s Version of The PB&B Sandwich

1 can garbanzo beans, drained

2 eggs

2 bananas, nice and ripe (overripe’s OK too)

1 tsp. vanilla

1 TBS. coconut oil

 

Preheat oven to 325. Blend all ingredients in a food processor until smooth.  This will take a few minutes and require some scraping of the sides. Spray a six-muffin tin with cooking spray. (Or use a medium sized loaf pan). Place batter in each muffin cup, filling 1/2 to 3/4 of the way. Bake for 30 minutes then turn oven off and let muffins cool in the over another 15-20 minutes.  Bean-based batters tend to be ‘wet’ and heavy, so a little extra heat is required. Enjoy muffins at room temperature or when still slightly warm.  Optional: slather tops with peanut, almond, cashew, or sunflower seed butter. Proceed to moan.

 

Non-damaging Deliciousness!

Non-damaging Deliciousness!

 

Banana.Bread