This was a tough one to write. It triggered some deep waves of emotion…even now. I share this Truth-Poem with you to illustrate the reality of Hope. It exists in you – no matter what your current circumstances.
To say I had a lot of de-tangling to do on the emotional and physical levels is a grand understatement. There were many times I wondered if it was even possible. I’ve cleared a great deal of debris out of my life, but it’s always a work in progress. And I cannot underscore enough the importance of unplugging from society’s results-0riented, lightening-fast-paced dogma. Yeah, we’ll get all our issues cleared up by the end of next month…if not SOONER! I lost track of all the ‘Lucy-holding-the-football-for-Charlie-Brown’ moments I had falling for that load of $%&#.
Relax. Unplug. Start paying attention to who you really are. Give the inner critic the next 15 minutes off. Loving yourself is a decision. You may have to remind yourself of said decision over and over but eventually, it will become more automatic.
There’s no magic finish line. But the good news is, copious amounts of Self-Love and Patience provide both change and necessary and very healthy coping tools.
Inside my car
Parked in the far right corner of a lot
No one can see me
My ritual, not to escape, but to survive
The steam from the open bag bathes my senses
I grab. I bite. I repeat.
Chewing is a distraction from my desire
My eyes fixed anywhere but on me….on the truth I cannot examine.
Excitement and comfort disappear with the last bite.
The bag gets crumpled and tossed.
I turn the ignition key over – sedated enough
To return to the sadness of my life.